We would like to introduce our next guest blogger, Helen Poskitt. Helen's new book "Rising to the Surface" is available via Amazon and Waterstones and she is currently working on her stage play "Check!" losely based on the book.
- The OCD Action team -
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Comming Soon
Thank you to our second blogger - I hope that you have all enjoyed reading their posts.
We have a new blogger lined up and they will be posting from the end of April.
- The OCD Action team -
We have a new blogger lined up and they will be posting from the end of April.
- The OCD Action team -
No cure but not concerned
So this is my final blog and I thought it might be helpful to reflect and what I wanted to achieve by doing them.
I guess the thing that I was concerned about is being negative. I often think that when you read the case studies in books on OCD (as excellent as some of these books are) they can be frightening because some people seem to be so consumed by their OCD. However, that too was me, when I was at my worst. I think the thing I feel they miss, and I wanted to add, is that you can recover from OCD to the point that you don’t even notice you have it! This is where I am now. Sure I still get intrusive thoughts, but so does everyone!!! I react to them differently now.
And if you are doubting how bad my OCD has been, I’ve made two suicide attempts and been in hospital for three months when I was at my worst. If you too find yourself in the depths of despair please just know that each day brings new hope and with the right treatment, you can get better.
In addition, I wanted to encourage those of you whose lives have been affected by OCD and related disorders (and hopefully also those of you who haven’t been) to get involved in making things better in future for all people suffering from mental health conditions. I know we all tut when our colleagues come around with sponsor forms for runs etc. but this is the only way that charities can work to make change. And you don’t even have to give money if you can’t afford to – do a sponsored event yourself, write to your MP, volunteer or donate your unwanted goods to the local mental health charity shop.
As a final note, I know some of you find it disconcerting that there’s no cure for OCD but you don’t need one – we’re meant to have frightening thoughts as part of an evolutionary warning system and with the help of medication or CBT you can see that they are only thoughts!
- OCD Guest Blogger 2 -
I guess the thing that I was concerned about is being negative. I often think that when you read the case studies in books on OCD (as excellent as some of these books are) they can be frightening because some people seem to be so consumed by their OCD. However, that too was me, when I was at my worst. I think the thing I feel they miss, and I wanted to add, is that you can recover from OCD to the point that you don’t even notice you have it! This is where I am now. Sure I still get intrusive thoughts, but so does everyone!!! I react to them differently now.
And if you are doubting how bad my OCD has been, I’ve made two suicide attempts and been in hospital for three months when I was at my worst. If you too find yourself in the depths of despair please just know that each day brings new hope and with the right treatment, you can get better.
In addition, I wanted to encourage those of you whose lives have been affected by OCD and related disorders (and hopefully also those of you who haven’t been) to get involved in making things better in future for all people suffering from mental health conditions. I know we all tut when our colleagues come around with sponsor forms for runs etc. but this is the only way that charities can work to make change. And you don’t even have to give money if you can’t afford to – do a sponsored event yourself, write to your MP, volunteer or donate your unwanted goods to the local mental health charity shop.
As a final note, I know some of you find it disconcerting that there’s no cure for OCD but you don’t need one – we’re meant to have frightening thoughts as part of an evolutionary warning system and with the help of medication or CBT you can see that they are only thoughts!
- OCD Guest Blogger 2 -
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Now I Understand
Since writing the first entry to my blog, I have been thinking about the finishing statement of it. This is mainly because several sad things have happened and I also felt some people may feel it over-optimistic or a little insensitive.
The finishing statement was the adage that ‘it’s not the circumstances that determine the quality of your life, but how you deal with them.’ I realise that this seems a little silly as try telling this to people dealing with terminal illness, have lost someone they love or don’t have enough food. A personal example is a friend who died of cancer last month after having suffered from depression all her life. And what about the people who lost loved ones in the earthquake in Italy last week?
The finishing statement was the adage that ‘it’s not the circumstances that determine the quality of your life, but how you deal with them.’ I realise that this seems a little silly as try telling this to people dealing with terminal illness, have lost someone they love or don’t have enough food. A personal example is a friend who died of cancer last month after having suffered from depression all her life. And what about the people who lost loved ones in the earthquake in Italy last week?
However, I guess it comes down to a choice we have to make. Like my mum was told in her positive thinking class, there’s no point in ruminating about the past – take action in the present moment to move towards where you want to be. I have spent a lot of time thinking about why me, why OCD, why did I get it (genes, childhood experiences, etc.)? But, to use another adage, ‘finding out how you fell into a hole isn’t going to get you out of it!’ It may not seem fair or reasonable that you have OCD or are suffering so, but you have to make a choice to deal with it and not look at the past.
I also wanted to add (and you’re going to hate me for this!), ‘every cloud has a silver lining.’ Well, at least I believe the OCD one does. Before OCD, I had little sympathy for people’s frailties. I had no experience of disability and wasn’t that interested in helping any but the most extreme cases of suffering. But now, I understand more about what it is like to have a disability. I feel I can relate to most people more as you realise we’re all a bit mad and most of us need help at some point in life for something. Most importantly, I’m engaged in society and try to do my bit to make things better – I write to my MP about mental health provision, volunteer and donate what I can to charity campaigns. I feel so alive. Life just seems great now because I know what it’s like to have been at the bottom of the valley and – so OCD has given me something positive too!
- OCD Guest Blogger 2 -
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Kicking OCD's Arse
So I’ve been asked to do a blog about my journey with OCD but with the long and winding journey it has been, where should I start? Well, I think the most important thing to remember that to beat OCD you have to live your life as if you didn’t have it. Easier said than done, I hear you cry! But each step you take towards doing this takes the power back from OCD and makes the pain worth bearing.
I first realised I had OCD when I was 18. Like a lot of people, it was the stress of A levels that brought it on. At first I just didn’t understand what it was – was a schizophrenic, manic depressive or what? Intrusive thoughts just kept bombarding me about a range of issues. I guess at first I just got depressed – why me? Not only has I lost my father at a young age, had to deal with being gay and now I had some of disorder coming on just at the end of my A levels!
Thankfully I was studying psychology A level and realised it may be OCD. After much persuasion from my mum I called OCD Action and a wise lady suggested that I tell someone at my Sixth Form College about it. Then, the wonderful deputy head, Ms Carpenter, helped me through the storm of exams and I also got extra time by getting my GP to write a medical note to the exams officer. I would advise any students with OCD to do this – colleges and universities have to include mental health problems under disability provision.
So I got through the exams, but now what? Like many, I had a lovely GP but he couldn’t do anything about the long waiting list for CBT. So, I had to opt out of going to Uni. despite my A grades whilst I waited for treatment. In the meantime I did everything I thought might help – came out to everyone, got a boyfriend, got drunk, tried counselling and even paid £300 for a wacky weekend healing workshop!
Eventually, my OCD just got worse and worse. I just went to work and felt like a walking zombie and then came home and slept to escape it all. My mum was a star at this point, persuading me to go to work and so were friends I made through OCD Action. I suppose feeling sorry for yourself never gets you anywhere and so I decided that if the mountain wasn’t coming to Mohammed, Mohammed would have to go to the mountain:
I wrote to my Community Mental Health team, asked for a community psychiatric nurse, complained to the director and chairperson of the lack of provision and after some battles got referred to see a specialist in OCD. I realise those of you reading this may be disgusted at the extent you have to go to get help, but it often is a case of he who shouts loudest. You also have to keep in mind that people generally do want to help but we all know what it’s like to have financial constraints!
After getting on the right medication at the right dose and having some CBT with an excellent therapist I got on the road to recovery. The medication helped me to see the thought traps I was getting into and allowed me to do the ERP. But like I said, getting back to living was part of the therapy. I had to set things to do each day and make sure I stuck to them. First it was simple things such as taking the dog for a walk, then it was built up to volunteering and eventually back to work (I was signed off for three months at my worst).
Then there was a sort of vacuum, I was kicking OCD’s arse but was not where I wanted to be in life. So then the bigger goals came – helping other people with OCD, moving to London and going to University.
So here I am now, recovered. And whilst I still have the thoughts they just don’t matter anymore – and anyway even if they get worse, I have the techniques to deal with them.! As you may have expected, life is not all roses. The University I wanted to go to insisted on my doing an Access course which meant another year before University but what the hell – another year as a student! I often think back to a saying I read somewhere that ‘it’s not your circumstances that determine the quality of your life, but how you deal with them.’
I first realised I had OCD when I was 18. Like a lot of people, it was the stress of A levels that brought it on. At first I just didn’t understand what it was – was a schizophrenic, manic depressive or what? Intrusive thoughts just kept bombarding me about a range of issues. I guess at first I just got depressed – why me? Not only has I lost my father at a young age, had to deal with being gay and now I had some of disorder coming on just at the end of my A levels!
Thankfully I was studying psychology A level and realised it may be OCD. After much persuasion from my mum I called OCD Action and a wise lady suggested that I tell someone at my Sixth Form College about it. Then, the wonderful deputy head, Ms Carpenter, helped me through the storm of exams and I also got extra time by getting my GP to write a medical note to the exams officer. I would advise any students with OCD to do this – colleges and universities have to include mental health problems under disability provision.
So I got through the exams, but now what? Like many, I had a lovely GP but he couldn’t do anything about the long waiting list for CBT. So, I had to opt out of going to Uni. despite my A grades whilst I waited for treatment. In the meantime I did everything I thought might help – came out to everyone, got a boyfriend, got drunk, tried counselling and even paid £300 for a wacky weekend healing workshop!
Eventually, my OCD just got worse and worse. I just went to work and felt like a walking zombie and then came home and slept to escape it all. My mum was a star at this point, persuading me to go to work and so were friends I made through OCD Action. I suppose feeling sorry for yourself never gets you anywhere and so I decided that if the mountain wasn’t coming to Mohammed, Mohammed would have to go to the mountain:
I wrote to my Community Mental Health team, asked for a community psychiatric nurse, complained to the director and chairperson of the lack of provision and after some battles got referred to see a specialist in OCD. I realise those of you reading this may be disgusted at the extent you have to go to get help, but it often is a case of he who shouts loudest. You also have to keep in mind that people generally do want to help but we all know what it’s like to have financial constraints!
After getting on the right medication at the right dose and having some CBT with an excellent therapist I got on the road to recovery. The medication helped me to see the thought traps I was getting into and allowed me to do the ERP. But like I said, getting back to living was part of the therapy. I had to set things to do each day and make sure I stuck to them. First it was simple things such as taking the dog for a walk, then it was built up to volunteering and eventually back to work (I was signed off for three months at my worst).
Then there was a sort of vacuum, I was kicking OCD’s arse but was not where I wanted to be in life. So then the bigger goals came – helping other people with OCD, moving to London and going to University.
So here I am now, recovered. And whilst I still have the thoughts they just don’t matter anymore – and anyway even if they get worse, I have the techniques to deal with them.! As you may have expected, life is not all roses. The University I wanted to go to insisted on my doing an Access course which meant another year before University but what the hell – another year as a student! I often think back to a saying I read somewhere that ‘it’s not your circumstances that determine the quality of your life, but how you deal with them.’
- OCD Guest Blogger 2 -
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Comming Soon
We hope that you have enjoyed reading about our guest blogger's journey back to work and that it has given you some insight into the life of a person affected by OCD.
Our new guest blogger will be posting soon so do keep comming back.
- The OCD Action team -
Our new guest blogger will be posting soon so do keep comming back.
- The OCD Action team -
Back in the swing of things
This is my final blog and I hope you have found it entertaining, insightful and a true reflection of life with OCD. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to the brave soldiers who risk their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan, but fighting and recovering from OCD felt like a war and only now can I look back at my time in OCD Hell and say to myself, “I was there and I survived.”
But once you’ve conquered OCD then you simply return to the other stresses of modern life: find a girlfriend, save up for a flat, maintain a good social life and succeed in your career. I’m very lucky to have found a job as the number of unemployed keeps going up and decent jobs are few and far between. I shall never forget my nine months of unemployment and the tedium of endless job applications, but I got through it and am now in an enjoyable role.
I hope to have my second short film made this year, which is great news and would be a big step forward in my career ambitions. For some reason I can’t stop listening to Tina Turner’s “When the heartache is over”, but it makes me happy rather than sad, even though my previous girlfriends or recent dates all seem to have found someone new while I’m wallowing around like a horny hippopotamus. On the plus side I’m running faster than ever.
But life can only get better and I want to achieve a lot this year and will work hard to stay on the pathway to happiness. If I can manage it then anybody reading this can fight to reclaim their lives from OCD. Best of luck and I now pass on the baton to the next blogger.
- OCD Guest Blogger 1 -
But once you’ve conquered OCD then you simply return to the other stresses of modern life: find a girlfriend, save up for a flat, maintain a good social life and succeed in your career. I’m very lucky to have found a job as the number of unemployed keeps going up and decent jobs are few and far between. I shall never forget my nine months of unemployment and the tedium of endless job applications, but I got through it and am now in an enjoyable role.
I hope to have my second short film made this year, which is great news and would be a big step forward in my career ambitions. For some reason I can’t stop listening to Tina Turner’s “When the heartache is over”, but it makes me happy rather than sad, even though my previous girlfriends or recent dates all seem to have found someone new while I’m wallowing around like a horny hippopotamus. On the plus side I’m running faster than ever.
But life can only get better and I want to achieve a lot this year and will work hard to stay on the pathway to happiness. If I can manage it then anybody reading this can fight to reclaim their lives from OCD. Best of luck and I now pass on the baton to the next blogger.
- OCD Guest Blogger 1 -
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
