New Start

My new job marks a fresh start in life and time to put my nine months of disappointment behind me. As an OCDer, I tend to dwell on the past and curse myself for not having done things differently. But the past is the past and there’s nothing I can do to change it. This is a damn shame because nothing feels worse than regret.

But I am no longer under the power of OCD so for that I should be thankful. But I think having OCD makes people naturally secretive and, for me, the wall I build around myself often stops me experiencing fulfilling relationships. When I’m in a relationship I turn into a captured prisoner under interrogation who never gives anything away.

But I want to adopt a positive outlook to the rest of 2009 and succeed in my job and let everything else just fall into place. I hope the OCDers reading this blog can learn to forgive themselves for their mistakes and go on to enjoy life

- OCD Guest Blogger 1 -

Valentine’s Day vs OCD

I wonder if those suffering from severe OCD waste a second worrying about being single on Valentine’s Day? The funny thing about having OCD is that because your whole mind is consumed by obsessive thoughts, there is no space for the general stresses of life. But I would be single forever if it meant I could go back in time and delete OCD from my history.

A year ago, I was in a job I hated and the stress I was under had nothing to do with OCD. I was simply following the wrong career path in the wrong environment. Despite feeling incredibly tense and despondent, it still felt a lot better than ‘OCD Hell’. But because I was unhappy at work it made me unhappy with everything else in my life. So I was a useless boyfriend, a depressing friend and lost all enthusiasm for writing.

But your heart and soul always heal eventually and it’s important to keep on fighting for happiness and freedom from OCD. I thought about partying in Amsterdam this weekend but the flights and accommodation are so expensive because of Valentine’s Day. I haven’t been abroad since April 2007 and am desperate to see somewhere new but I don’t want to be conned into spending too much money just because of some naff weekend for lovers.

I don’t have too much to say this week, which I suppose is a good thing. As if I was under the grip of OCD then I would be filling hundreds of pages with cries for help and reassurance that this is OCD and not me.

- OCD Guest Blogger 1 -

Here comes the snow

I did enjoy the festive feeling that came with the heavy snowfall on Monday. It’s not often London feels like a friendly city but there was such a jovial atmosphere in the pub on Monday, with workers feeling happy they had dodged a day off work and young parents taking the rare opportunity to play with their kids in the snow.

It’s these magic days with your friends that give you the power to stop OCD regaining control of your thoughts. I never want to miss out on fun or adventure because of OCD and life is all about the people you spend it with. It shouldn’t be you stuck at home besieged by tormenting thoughts and rituals, fearing life will never be enjoyable again.

Now that ice has begun to replace the fluffy snow, you will have to be careful not to slip up and hurt yourself. Trawling through a snowstorm to then slip on ice could arguably be a metaphor for being in ‘OCD recovery’. As after the battle of defeating, what often seems, an unstoppable enemy, the last thing you want to do is fall on your ass and slide back under its control.

So I guess my message this week is, “You may not be able to control the things that happen around you but you can fight back to make sure your life isn’t sucked into the storm. “ Anyway, keep up on your feet and get ready for more snow.

- OCD Guest Blogger 1 -