Seven years ago when I was suffering heavily from OCD even a short trip away would be fraught with trauma for me, here’s is a short list of some events which made holidays stressful during my life as an OCD sufferer;
1) A big argument with my parents who tried to take a straw off of me which I needed to tap as part of an OCD ritual.
2) Spending an eternity tapping objects in hotel rooms on the last day which I knew I could not return to in order to complete my rituals.
3) Having to return to the top of water slides in order to tap a certain segment of the slide correctly
4) Obsessive thoughts all my waking day and in my dreams, ten times stronger than when I was at home
Seven days ago I went on a trip to the Edinburgh fringe festival for 3 nights to do some stand up and to take in the shows with two friends, Pete (also a comic) and Chris (a blues musician). Here is a short list of the things which made this trip stressful;
1) We couldn’t find the campsite
2) The clutch in the car we drove up in made a screeching noise every time it was in use, (two days after we made it back home the clutch gave up the ghost)
3) Pete went missing for over an hour at one point and he still won’t tell us where he was.
4) Freezing cold nights
5) Getting lost, all day, every day.
On top of this I had to stand up and amuse six different audiences over 3 days having had little to no sleep.
But despite all the apparent stresses of the trip I had more fun than I‘ve ever had, if you don’t believe me just ask any of my friends who I’ve been boring with Edinburgh anecdotes since. A big part of the reason I’m still involved with OCD awareness is that I want to show people how much I enjoy my life having overcome OCD and that all the fighting and all the struggle to do this was worth it.
I appreciate evenings now. Evenings were stressful when I had OCD. That was when my OCD was at its worse, if I was the slightest bit tired it was harder to keep the obsessive thoughts out. But now I love evenings, at the Edinburgh fringe they have a midnight show at the caves. It’s literally in a cave and starts at midnight, running on till about 3am. We went to this event two nights running. Comedy is a lot better when you know that everyone sensible is in bed. Reginald D. Hunter headlined the second night and I laughed uncontrollably. And it felt like I’d earned it. In beating OCD I had reclaimed the evening in my life. When my OCD was at its worse I would never have been able to relax at that show.
This year’s Edinburgh award went to the comic poet Tim Key, but my award goes to ‘The Evening’, my new, favourite part of the day.
Joe Wells
